RECAP: Gwynnie’s Out-of-Touch Annual Gift Guide is Here!
TODAY in GOOP, Gywnnie’s brought back her annual gift guide to help all of us helpless people find the perfect potato masher (hint: it comes in $5,800 kitchen set) and masculine man’s accessories bags for all those potato mashing masculine men we know. But, which one of these suggestions is the MOST out of touch? Here are my picks.
Liv Tyler and her grandma wrote a book on manners? That’s…not what I expected. Pretty sure the book is filled with lots of this: Dear Liv, why did your dad steal the Aflac mascot’s lips? Is that a polite question?
A waaaaayyyyy more expensive, gift than the manners book is this paper clip necklace for £995.00, which converts to roughly 1,500 American dollars. The paperclip line of necklaces comes in all letters of the alphabet but I prefer the letter “Y” because if you spend that kind of cash on office supply jewelry you should be asking yourself, why? all the time, throughout the day, constantly.
Some people (i.e. no one) need a coat of arms. Custom heraldry is a thing now, a throwback in the manner of brewing one’s own mash and dressing like a blacksmith. There’s an artist in New York who will “work with you to develop a handmade seal that captures the character of the name it bears.” Not sure on the price, because each piece is negotiated with the artists, but the Swansburgs thought it reasonable. Okay, I admit it. This is a cool idea, and I fucking want my name intertwined with artwork of a fox or an owl or whatever (let’s be truthful: cats) to display in my dining room.
This is my favorite of the out-of-touch gifts. First, who’s hitting the games room after dinner? Who has a games room? Is that the room the Crawleys are always gossiping in before dinner on Downton Abbey? Is it my bathroom, where I play Candy Crush? This deck of Hermès cards (There’s no way to say Hermès without sounding pretentious. I can’t even say it in my head in an un-snooty way) costs £160.00, which is a million U.S. dollars. Or over $200 for sure. Question, Hermès, do you make Settlers of Catan cards?