Today in GOOP, who cares? Really, who cares? I am tired of this woman. I think she’s tired too, because today Gywnnie basically Photoshops herself into the fall 2012 J. Crew catalog (P.S. I haven’t seen the catalog. Because I do other things. But imagine it is all of these items featured on GOOP, except with someone younger than Gwynnie, and likely more eating disorderish, modeling them.)
Here’s one moment of hilarity I got out today’s issue of GOOP.
Hahaha! Great price points! You’re so funny, Gwynnie, acting like you’re some kind of extreme couponer! Also, that’s so cute that you ordered a grey sweater in 1992. Was it while you were wearing a Margot Tenebaum dress and reading a YM magazine and chewing Bubble Tape and talking to your bff on a cordless pink phone while sitting on your canopy-style bed and staring at a Teen Beat poster of Christian Slater? Because if so, my 1992 year-old self is seething with jealousy.
Okay, so I’m not going to lie. I like J. Crew. Because I’m American, and a woman, and white. I like Whole Foods too, even though they’re kind of a shitty company just like every other company. And I sometimes drink chai lattes because I’m also an asshole. But even if I like J. Crew, I am also aware that they suck. And spending $98 on a chambray shirt (that I love, by the way) that was made by eight year-olds in East Asia, who were possibly genitally mutilated as infants and maybe have three fingers remaining and will potentially be married upon their 13th birthdays to a sadistic sweatshop manager types and will die at the age of 34 after giving birth to 18 children, doesn’t feel good to me as a human being.
Not to mention, at Old Navy, that chambray shirt is priced at $23 max.